Remembering Whitney as a Legend, Not an Addict

I was completely shocked when I heard Whitney Houston died this weekend. When I read the news online, I ran to tell my husband and his friends. I called my parents, my brother, and texted my friends. Everyone’s responses were the same. Shock and disbelief. We reacted as if we knew her in some strange way.

Yet now, just like in the wake of Michael Jackson’s death, everyone is saying she died of an overdose and looked terrible in the days leading up to her death, while other reports talk of how upbeat and vibrant she was. Does it really matter?

TMZ is reporting she had a beer and a glass of champagne prior to her death. Other outlets say Whitney was partying “heavily” with alcohol at pre-Grammy related events. You know what, if I was at the Grammy’s, I’d be drinking too. And who hasn’t had a cocktail while getting ready to go out? The media is trying to make a story out of events that anyone else might normally do.

I know, I know, they found prescription drugs in her room. And yes, I remember the Diane Sawyer interview where Whitney admitted to drug use and claimed “crack is whack!” OK, so maybe she needed some media training with that one.

Whether Whitney died of drugs, drowned in a bathtub, committed suicide, or died by reasons we are not privy to, the end result is still the same: she is no longer with us, but still one of the greatest artists of all time. Why tarnish her amazing musical legacy with presumptions? We all know she had issues, married bad boy Bobby Brown and did coke.

At the end of the day, Whitney is gone. A mother has lost a daughter, a daughter has lost a mother and countless fans are mourning her passing as we overplay her greatest hits.

I don’t care how Whitney died, I’m just sad she’s gone. She shaped some of my most cherished memories growing up. Whether I was reveling in a breakup with “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” or dancing senselessly with my girlfriends to “I’m Every Woman,” I will always remember Whitney as the icon she was.

(Supporting) Obama and the Birth Control Debate

Today, President Obama is retooling his decision requiring religious employers to cover birth control for their employees and instead, make insurance companies directly responsible for providing free contraception. I applaud the President for trying to find a common ground while still providing birth control to those in need, but I find the religious right’s opposition on this a bit confusing.

Catholic Church leaders, Republicans and other social conservatives have denounced this as an attack on religious freedom. But what if you are Jewish or Muslim and work for a Catholic employer such as a hospital or university? Hell, what if you are Catholic and work for these organizations? Does that mean you shouldn’t be entitled to low cost or free contraception if you choose? I understand the outcry of mixing church and state, but what about privacy and women’s rights? Who is an employer to tell women they won’t provide them with preventative measures to ensure they don’t get pregnant because of their religious beliefs? Why is that any of their business?

And let’s get real for a moment. Many, if not all of those defending the original decision to provide birth control at no cost to women are anti-abortion. Hey, they have that right, but how can one condemn abortion so harshly, yet not provide women with the contraceptives they need in order prevent them from being put in such a situation? I mean, it’s common sense, isn’t it? The church doesn’t believe in abortion, but it also doesn’t believe in birth control, so therefore, we should just hope and pray the old age “pull out” method works and cross our fingers that we don’t get pregnant, even though there are measures we can take to prevent it. Are you f*ing serious?

Ironically, polls indicate a majority of Americans and Catholics support the rule according to Reuters. A Public Religion Research Institute poll taken last week found 55 percent of Americans want employers to provide healthcare plans that cover contraception and birth control, including nearly six in 10 Catholics.

I think it’s amazing that this plan will allow all women to obtain free or lost cost contraceptives, especially since 99 percent of women have relied upon some type of birth control during their lifetimes. With so many unplanned pregnancies in this world, shouldn’t we do all we can to prevent women and young girls from having to deal with one? It feels like an oxymoron if one doesn’t support abortion, yet won’t make contraceptives available to those who want to prevent unintended pregnancies.

In Support of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday for a variety of reasons. I love the time of year in which it falls and the traditions my family and I have built around the occasion. Plus, being both Jewish and Catholic, it’s nice to just celebrate without having to bring religion into the mix.

I feel bad for Thanksgiving though because it’s like the red-headed stepchild of Halloween and Christmas. As soon as Halloween is over, I jump at the thought that we’ll soon be cooking turkey, making stuffing and spending time with family and friends.  Sadly, as soon as Halloween is over for most, especially retailers, we are thrown right into Christmas. Can’t we give Thanksgiving a chance?

I know Christmas is the holiday almost everyone (who celebrates that is) gets most excited about. Advertisers throw out the big guns to make those end-of-year profits, kids get excited for presents and let’s be honest, who can compete with Santa Claus? But over the last few years, Christmas has been making an early appearance on TV and in stores, leaving poor Thanksgiving in the dust.

Even when Thanksgiving does get some props, it’s mostly because of Black Friday sales and the start of the holiday shopping season. And these days, deals are being launched before you even put down your drumstick!

I don’t need to be swayed, but I hope that I can convince some of you to enjoy one holiday at a time. Give Thanksgiving a chance – don’t let it be trampled on by Christmas trees and tinsel. Be thankful for the occasion that reminds us to give thanks for all we have and shows us that holiday is truly about family and friends, not Black Friday deals and doorbusters.

Get Up for the Pregnant Women!

I was always taught that you give up your seat on a bus, train or subway for a pregnant woman or the elderly. Most people I know were brought up the same way. Yet somehow, I have seen a ridiculous amount of pregnant women standing on the PATH (the subway to Jerseyans) without a single person, male or female, offering them a seat.

I know that it is sometimes difficult to tell if a woman is expecting; come on, let’s be honest. But when you see a woman resting her hand on her very large belly that is rounder than that of say an overweight person, you offer her your seat or politely just stand up making the seat available.

In the last week, I have seen two women who are clearly having babies denied a seat on the PATH which I think is disgusting (note: yes, I am standing!). The first time was when the conductor had to literally ask passengers to get up from their seats for a woman who looked as if she was ready to pop.

The next time this happened, I got kind of annoyed and said something. A woman got on the train and stood next to me. She seemed to get a little lost in the shuffle while boarding. It took a minute or two to notice she was pregnant, but she was trying to make it as obvious as possible.

In the seats in front of us were two passengers, a man and woman. They both acknowledged the woman, but didn’t offer her their seat. I understand that they may not have recognized she was pregnant, but in time, my gut tells me they did. These two repeatedly stared this woman down, kept looking at her and for the reactions of those around them. It was almost like they didn’t know what to do or were hoping no one saw them deny this woman seating.

In the end, the pregnant woman was left standing. As I approached the Christopher Street station, I took it upon myself to say, “Don’t you think it would be nice to offer your seat to a pregnant woman?” I don’t know if anyone offered that woman their seat, but at least I knew I did my part to help her.

It’s definitely tough to tell if someone is expecting, but when in doubt, just get up and stand; give women an option to sit. If nothing else, you help out another human being. If you have two legs, stand and be happy you paid it forward.

Ode to Fall

I have been waiting for today all week. Knowing fall weather was about to hit, I was giddy with excitement. My boots came out from the box and I had an extra spring in my step.

Unlike many of those I know, I cringe when August comes around, as the heat and humidity have already been enough for one season. While I love sitting on a beach all day, the crisp fall air and smell of spice really brings a smile to my face. I adore fall.

Jamming in the car on my way to work, the return of fall, even if only for a day, reminded me of that first day of school, where you put on your new outfit and start the year off with a clean slate. While clean slates are fewer and far between  as we get older, a day like today really brings me back.

Fall to me represents so many delicious things. The leaves change colors and it gets darker earlier. It means shopping for some of the best clothes and shoes that come out all year.  It’s apple and pumpkin picking. Fall brings football and parties, giving you the chance to see your friends again (all of whom have been at other parties, weddings, the shore or vaca). It’s a chance to shed your summer self and get cozy with your friends and family.

Whether you love or hate fall, breathe in the fresh air and use today as a reason to start anew.

Jurors Should Not Profit From Casey Anthony Trial

As Casey Anthony gets ready to leave prison in a few short days, I’m appalled that jurors are requesting money for their stories in such a horrific and emotionally disturbing case.

Guilty or not, Antony will soon walk free. She will entertain hundreds of book and movie deals, maybe a reality show. Who knows, they’ll probably even give her a talk show (who doesn’t have one nowadays?). I get that. While I don’t agree with it, I understand it. She was the one involved, the one being accused and likely the only one who knows what happened to Caylee. That’s entertainment for America. What I don’t agree with is jurors trying to sell their stories to the media for compensation.

Juror #6 retained representation and is granting interviews for a 5-figure deal after serving on the jury of Anthony’s trail. The letter from his rep was posted on TMZ. I’m sure he isn’t the only one.

I’m all about making a buck, but I draw the line at jurors selling their stories for a profit. It’s your civic duty to serve on a jury. While most people hate it, understandably so, I don’t think you should capitalize on the public’s growing appetite for sensationalism in the unsolved death of a two-year-old girl.

I appreciate that these 12 people gave up their time (and probably their sanity) to come to a “just” conclusion. That doesn’t mean they need to profit from the murder of an innocent little girl. Apparently Florida agrees with me too. A state representative and local attorney are currently drafting a bill that would keep jurors from profiting right away following a verdict. Support it!

 

Why Yoga Stresses Me Out

I recently started taking yoga. While I briefly engaged in the practice a few years ago, I decided to give it a shot when one of those Groupons came along with an unlimited deal.

I am not that good at yoga. I have been giving it a valiant effort and have definitely stepped up my skills since my last stab it, but I’m not counting on starting my own studio any time soon.

I have to admit, yoga stresses me out. Go ahead, laugh. I know, it sounds absurd. Something that is supposed to be completely Zen and relaxing does the exact opposite for me. I worry if I am doing the poses correctly, if I am breathing in that “special yoga way” and if I’m using the right body parts.

I am person who is in my head more than I should be, but to me, doing yoga is like playing Twister. I’m upside down, pretzel like, not knowing if I’m moving right when they say left while I try to figure out how to roll up one vertebra at a time. Yet, I’m starting to enjoy it, as much as it stresses me out. I am hoping the calmness yoga is supposed to bring will find me soon. In the meantime, Namaste.

Remember to Thank the People Who Help You Out in Your Job Search

I have always been a huge advocate of helping people. Whether I am doing it for friends, family or complete strangers, I am always willing to lend a hand.

Recently, I have received a lot of calls and emails from people in the industry looking for PR work. Some are just out of school, some are looking for a career change and sadly, some have been laid off.

Having been out of work for over a year in 2009, I am more than happy to offer any assistance in that department. I know how important connections are and how beneficial networking can be, which is why I don’t think twice about giving back. Help was given to me when I needed it, so I like to think I’m paying it forward.

Recently however, I have found that acquaintances and people who have reached out to me because they are connected to me personally or professionally have zero appreciation for my help. Now don’t get me wrong, my close friends don’t fall into this bucket, but I find it so hard to believe that anyone that offers you help or that you look to for guidance  (especially someone you don’t know all that personally) doesn’t even bat an eye when you’re giving up your time for them.

For example, a guy I work with asked if there were PR openings in my department and if I could assist his friend Cindy with some leads I might be aware of. I was happy to help. The girl reached out to me and I sent her names of recruiters and some background info. I never heard from her again.

A former colleague asked if I could help a family friend apply to a media program my company was hiring for. She reached out to me and I submitted her resume along with a recommendation (it turns out she was also an alumna of my alma mater). I emailed to let her I had done the paperwork and gotten her resume to human resources. I also reached out to the man I used to work with to give him an update. Neither acknowledged my contribution.

A few months ago, a friend reached out to me to see if I could help her friend in his job search. I sent him some listings I knew of from PR groups I was a part of and also some tips on what helped me with my job search. He fell off the planet. When I told our friend, she seemed surprised, but it didn’t make a difference.

Look, I don’t need to be thanked for every single thing I do (hello, I work in PR, one of the most thankless jobs out there), but if you don’t know me, and if you do, but not really all that well, show a little appreciation that I went out of my way for you. I know people’s situations change and life is hectic, but you should never burn bridges. I learned that early on in my career. If someone is willing to take time out of their schedule to help you in a job search or anything else for that matter, make sure to recognize their efforts. It’s really not hard.

So to all you folks who are “networking” and “connecting,” don’t forget those that are trying to help you. It’ll go a long, long way.

What (Not) To Wear?!?

Help! I have no idea what to wear! The last few weeks have wreaked havoc on my wardrobe. Don’t even get me started on the shoe debacle.

The weather is seriously putting a cramp in both my styling and closet. Usually this time of year, I start putting the sweaters in a bin in the closet hidden away with the rest of my winter essentials. I live in a one-bedroom apartment in Hoboken which is lovely, but limited on space for two grown people, so I’m forced to pack away. You see, I share a closet with my husband who also has tons of clothes and most recently started appreciating my shoe addiction by starting one of his own, leaving me with even less (of our already limited) space.

Needless to say, I have been unable to store what I normally do this time of year because the climate is having a serious identity crisis. Today I am in suede boots, yet last week, I was wearing the summer dresses and sandals. And it’s not just me! At work, some people are in sweaters, while others are sporting espadrille wedges. Something seriously needs to give.

Who wouldn’t be confused? What do you wear when it’s 50 degrees in the morning, but hits 75 in the mid- to late afternoon and rains every day? I feel like I need separate outfits and accessories  before leaving the house and an entirely new shoe regimen.

So my dear Mother Nature, I kindly ask that you move forward to the warm weather (and less rain just because I miss the sun) so I can utilize what little space I have and dress without such utter confusion!

How I Joined the Royal Wedding Bandwagon

For weeks, we have been inundated with news, specials and tireless coverage of the upcoming nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Every morning, my husband mocked Today or the Early Show for their incessant reporting of the Royal Wedding. I started to feel his pain. A day did not go by that we didn’t hear about invitations, who’d be designing Kate’s dress, who was or wasn’t on the guest list. It had been non-stop.

I had just about enough when I spoke to a colleague in London who told me more about the festivities. She said the event had been declared a public holiday and the excitement was everywhere. While she wasn’t planning on watching this monumental moment with hundreds of thousands of spectators outside Westminster Abbey, she said the British sure knew how to put on a celebration and that was thrilling for so many people.

I became so intrigued by what it must be like to be in such close proximity to the Royal Wedding, I wasn’t so bothered by all the attention it was receiving; instead, I was curious! I suddenly became interested in many, but not all (Al Roker’s London weather reports and Erica Hill trying on hats), of the details. I started reading the online news items from People, Us Weekly and CNN that I normally would’ve skipped over.  I even went to the Royal Wedding website! Oh the shame!

While I am not totally sucked in, I finally realized what an exciting moment this must be for so many people. If nothing else, it’s a happy time; one that celebrates love and a fairy tale that many girls grow up dreaming about (marrying a prince!). Nowadays, all we hear about is the bad happening in the world. This is a joyous refresher.

So while I don’t plan on getting up at 4:00 a.m. to watch the latest wedding coverage, I will no longer be groaning at the sound of Kate Middleton’s name. Instead, I will be anxiously waiting to see what she wore!