The Generosity a Baby Brings

I’ve since gone from beer bottles to baby bottles and with that, I’ve noticed an incredible generosity in people. 

My husband and I recently welcomed a little girl into this world and have been mesmerized by how much she has changed our lives, the lives of our families and our outlook on life. We weren’t too vocal about expecting (i.e. announcing it on Facebook, posting lots of pregnancy photos, etc.), as we felt it was a special, yet personal moment that we didn’t feel the need to share via social media outlets. However, when our daughter was born, we were proud to share her photo to introduce our new little munchkin to everyone. 

With that said, the outpouring of love and kindness we received from friends, family and colleagues, both new and old, was astounding. The amount of messages, calls, texts and emails we got was overwhelming in the best possible way. And the presents we have received from folks has been beyond amazing. In the short two weeks since our daughter was born, gifts have been bestowed upon us from long lost friends to old co-workers to new friends and neighbors. 

I’ve always thought of my husband and I as generous giving people; individuals who give because we want to, not because we expect anything in return. Perhaps that giving is coming back around or maybe we’re still wearing our rose-colored glasses since we expanded our family. Whatever the reason, we couldn’t be happier by the outpouring of love and support we have received from so many during this very exciting time. One of my very best friends told me a baby brings out the best in people. You know what? She was right!

From Simple Power Outage to Mall Shooting

The other night I was at the Livingston Mall returning a handful of Christmas gifts when the lights went out. At first, everyone thought it was a momentary outage and continued on their way. I happened to be in H&M and was heading for the exit when I decided maybe I should stay put until the lights came back on. It could only be a matter of moments, right? Wrong.

I waited near the store’s entrance for about five minutes, fidgeting with my phone, looking through what else I had to return and which store I’d head to next. People didn’t seem too discouraged by the lights being out; they pulled out their phones or pocket flashlights  to light their way as they continued shopping.

Initially, I wasn’t fazed by the blackout and figured I would keep on shopping like everyone else. That changed quickly as my mind suddenly reverted back to the recent mall shootings in Oregon and Newport Beach after the lights still hadn’t come back on. Then I got scared. What if someone cut the power and was running through the mall with a gun, targeting holiday shoppers? It was a busy time of year, the mall was packed and crazier things have happened. I decided it was time to leave.

I headed to the nearest exit where my car was parked when I noticed Macy’s was closing its door gates. It seemed strange that they were essentially locking down the store to shoppers which made me even more anxious to get out. Luckily, they were letting customers out (just not in) and I made it safely to my car.

Getting out of the parking lot was horrendous but I knew I was likely safer in my car than the mall. Why did I need to be in a dark mall anyway – there was no power – I couldn’t purchase or return anything, and it was pitch black? As I drove home, I saw at least 10 first responders, from ambulances to firemen to police, speeding toward the mall, igniting my curiosity. I felt anxious, wondering if something was really going down or if the recent craziness of our society made me think a simple power outage was something much more dramatic.

Turns out a transformer blew and the mall closed for two days. There was no shooting, no imminent danger, just loss of power. I felt silly thinking it was something grander and more grotesque than the loss of power, but honestly, going anywhere these days sometimes makes me think twice. With school shootings, movie theater murders and people being gunned down at shopping malls, these type of assumptions are sadly becoming the norm.

Hurry Up and Wait

“Hurry up and wait!!” Those were the words of my esteemed disaster response director when I worked for the Red Cross. Hurricane Sandy, we’re hurrying up and waiting.

We tried to be smart and prepare early, starting on Saturday. We didn’t prepare as well as we thought, because by Sunday, we were back out again buying supplies. We kind of missed the boat on that one. We hit seven ATMs before we were finally able to get some cash since the machines were out of money. The supermarket was out of bread, water and milk. Gas stations ran out of gas and Home Depot was bare of hurricane supplies like drains, lanterns, batteries and flashlights; though that wasn’t a huge surprise. 

Before 3pm ET, we got the call that work in New York City was shut down and the transit system, including the subway, PATH, MTA, and NJ Transit were closing until further notice. Wall Street would not be trading, the first time its closed since September 11, 2001. And we just got word that the Holland Tunnel is also closing this afternoon. 

For the last two and half days, we have done our best to secure the house and our belongings. The outdoor furniture was taken inside and the cars were moved into the garage. We sealed the basement to prevent flooding, brought up all our personal items and stacked the washer and dryer on cinder blocks.  We cleared all the leaves from gutters nearly three times and stored away the fire wood to make a fire when we lose power. The flashlights have all been tested, the candles are ready to burn and the food and water are stored. We’ve done everything we can to prepare for Sandy. 

I have lived in Jersey my whole life and have never seen anything like this. When a snow storm is on its way, of course, the shelves are bare of food and supplies, but that is what we have come to expect. People get nervous and you work to prepare.  We laugh about it, saying it’s just a storm, not the end of the world. But this preparation is one that I have yet to experience. Even working in the disaster field, where you see this kind of response more frequently, didn’t prepare me for when it would happen in my own town. 

So now what? As our trusted disaster response director Bill used to say, “We hurry up and wait,” for the worst, knowing we prepared as best we could for an impending disaster. Stay safe and heed the warnings my friends. 

The Sirius XM Subscription Scam

For Christmas, my husband got me a satellite radio for my car. I had a super old system and this one would replace my old unit and could be docked in my car. Sweet!

Sweet until I got scammed by the subscription department at Sirius XM when I tried to activate my account.

I waited forever to put the unit in my car and set up service, but when I finally did, I was shocked to learn that they wanted over $200 for a yearly subscription to all their available channels. I have never been a fan of paying for radio, especially since my husband works in terrestrial radio and I have the luxuries of Pandora, Spotify and my iPod, but I was willing to pay a few extra bucks a month for commercial-free tunes geared towards my musical preferences.

Sirius/XM was never terribly reliable. It would lose its signal randomly and stations replayed the same songs within an hour or two of each other. Yet, even with these annoyances, I liked the idea of listening to the all 90s channel on my way to work or writing to the tunes of Coffeehouse. That was until I found I would be paying twice as much as other customers.

My neighbor told me he paid $94 a year for his premium service . My mom pays a mere $84 annually for the same plan. When I called, over a holiday weekend, they wanted about $230 for 12 months which included taxes and applicable service fees.  Fuck that!

I told the customer service reps that I knew people were getting the same plan at a significantly lower cost. They proceeded to tell me that there were no promotions and to try back again. I did that, and again, no specials. I was baffled. How could they keep telling me to sign up and call for new deals when there never were any? Didn’t they want to sign on a new customer, even at a discounted rate? I mean, Sirius/XM’s churn rate is insane and would be even worse if they didn’t broker deals with current customers to stay on board.

I finally asked to talk to a manager who told me he had some special promo code that the initial reps didn’t have. It didn’t quite make sense to me, but when he offered me at a deal for all the channels at $109, I said I’d take it. I had to call back with my radio’s ID number for them to activate it, so they made a note on my account.

When I called back, they told me the $109 subscription was for a selected plan – one that doesn’t give you all the channels the satellite radio giant offers. Um, hello, if I am paying for a service I can get for free (kind of), why would I only want some channels and not all? I explained this to the rep who said he couldn’t do anything for me, so he put me through to a manager. Suddenly, she had a deal for $131 for the premium subscription plan, which was still more than my mom and neighbor were paying, so I protested. They couldn’t match those deals or do  much better.

I was curious why only the managers could get me a deal and the initial sales rep could only offer me something for $200+. When I asked, the manager declined to comment, simply saying she was sorry. I went on, asking why all the managers had a code for a promotion that was locked to my radio purchase, yet when I called to subscribe, no one was able to offer me what apparently I was “entitled” to anyway.

I kept at it, demanding an answer from the manager about why I wasn’t told I could get a deal by the first 10 reps I spoke to. She hung up on me. Bitch. I decided to call back and the next manager I spoke to read from a pre-written script, apologizing for the trouble and brokering me a yearly premium channel deal for $185.

Excuse me?!? $185? That is $50 more than the manager who hung up on me offered. I asked her how this was possible and she was just as dumbfounded as the rest. Finally, she gave me a deal at $124 for everything I wanted, but told me I had to pay $4/month for internet access to stations and buy another dock to listen to the unit in my home, which would run me about $39.99.

After all this shit, I thought to myself, why do I need to pay for radio? Yeah, it’s a luxury and a convenience, but the hassle and bullshit that I went through to get it, along with the unfairness, left such a bad taste in my mouth, so I told them I was no longer interested. I mean, why would I want to pay more than other people, and why should other people pay more than me? I’m not trying to sound cheap, but the whole thing is such a scam. If I had service previously (which I did and conveniently, they couldn’t find my account despite a myriad of information I provided them), they would have done whatever they could to keep me to lessen their churn rate. I have friends who call every three months to broker a new, cheaper deal. So Sirius XM, what gives?

Men and Their (Lack of) Summer Work Clothes

With the raging heat upon us, I am trying to choose my outfits accordingly. My office is chilly, yet it’s nearly 100 degrees outside. Thankfully, I have a myriad of options. My husband on the other hand, along with so many men I pass in the streets of New York City, don’t have the same advantage.

While I sometimes envy men and their wardrobes because they’re simple and less complicated, my heart breaks for guys on a day like today (and will again tomorrow), when I think of the few options they have to wear to work on a hot summer day.

Imagine having to wear jeans or pants in this heat? How about a long sleeved, collared shirt? Or a suit no less? Most guys can’t go to work in flip flops or shorts, whereas girls can mix and match, making something out of nothing (and still look cute and presentable).

So while the heat bears down on us, and the sticky humidity ruins our hair, I have to give a shout out to all the men out there who are walking to work, commuting on buses, trains and subways, and withstanding this heat with far less options for comfort. Here’s to you boys!

Lotto Fever

Lotto fever is on! In all my years of playing (and losing), I have never seen as much love for the lottery as I did today.

While I don’t expect to win the office pool I’m a part of,  off the individual tickets my husband and I bought, or from numbers that belong to my immediate family, I am loving the vibe the biggest Mega Millions jackpot in history is giving off.

I have stood on numerous lines waiting to buy tickets in both New York and New Jersey in hopes of winning the coveted $640+ million jackpot. I made friends at the bodega while waiting to get my numbers. I chatted more with the grocery clerk than I have all year discussing the madness. And I probably spoke to more people about winning the lotto and what I’d do with the money in my 1,000+ person New York City office than I have in the two years I have worked in the building.

At 11:05pm, I don’t expect to be calling my family telling them I won the lottery. And while I’ll be a little disappointed that I still have to go to work on Monday and won’t be buying a private plane to take me and my entourage on a celebratory vacation full of champagne and palm trees, I  am digging all the craziness, all the press, and all the comradery that’s been built because of this ridiculously large jackpot that one random person is likely to win in mere moments!

Here’s to more than half a billion! Good luck to us all! It only cost me like $60 a and a dream.

How One Song Can Bring You Back

I was just listening to Sarah McLachlan’s “Wait” from the Fumbling Towards Ecstasy album. I had it in cassette form before I was forced to buy the CD.  My friend Kim and I played it endlessly in 1994. Every time I hear a song from that album, I’m 16 all over again. It feels good.

As I get on in my years, I have found the amazing impact music has had on me. I don’t play instruments, except for a brief stint on the piano, yet my life seems categorized by the music that shaped it. Uploading old CDs and mixes to iTunes, to purchasing old school music that brings me back to my youth, most of my memories are defined by a song or album.

For example, when Whitney Houston died and her music was playing on the radio again, I was immediately brought back to the days when my girlfriends and I would belt out tunes from The Bodyguard soundtrack. Whenever I hear Nelly’s “Let it Ride” or Destiny’s Child’s “Bills, Bills, Bills,” I’m back on the road with Schro, trying to find something to do in our boring hometown.

The list goes on. Jay Z and Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” is my song with B; where we’re dancing at my wedding or he’s rapping it to me in the car. Blessid Union of Souls’ “I Believe” takes me back to high school with Lisa because the song has her name in it and at the time, we thought that was the coolest thing ever.

There are so many songs that remind me of people who are no longer a large part of my life or who made it a living hell.  When “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems” gets going, I’m back in college with my girls, “rolling our Rollies in the sky.”  Kristine is always on my mind whenever I hear anything by Tori Amos.  Guns ‘N Roses’ “November Rain” reminds me of Allan, my first boyfriend. And Bille Myers’ “Kiss the Rain” transports me back to the days I hung out with Hannah. Sophie B. Hawkins’ “As I Lay Me Down,” unfortunately reminds me of Karl, and Rush’s “If I Could Wave My Magic Wand” was the song Chris dedicated to me.

Back in the day, songs corresponded to everything; a boyfriend, a road trip, a break-up, girls night, and so on. I feel that as we get older, while we still have a deep passion for music, the moments aren’t quite defined the same way.

There are still a handful of tunes that have been added to the vault over the years: “At Last” by Etta James, my wedding song; Sam Sparrow’s “Black and Gold,” which, when played, my mom makes us dance around the kitchen with a cane, wearing a glitter top hat; my Guitar Hero go to, Heart’s “Barracuda,” “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas (Is You)” have me shouting from the rooftops every holiday season; and Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole’s “Unforgettable,” which is the song  my dad and I danced to at my wedding.

While I wait for more songs to create new timelines in my life, I’ll be relishing in the old times that still make me smile (and sing!).