Why Finding a Job is a Lot Like Dating

I have come to the conclusion that finding a job is like dating. While I am not on the market for a man, I am for a job and have been for some time. And I recently realized how looking for a full-time career is just like looking for a mate.

Think about it. When you are on the prowl for a job, you try hard to find something that suits you just perfectly. An occupation you can see yourself in for a few years, accomplish goals, learn new things, have some fun. When you finally find something that might be the right fit, you make a move. You apply online, network through friends or former colleagues, make some calls, meet up for drinks; basically, you look for a way to get hooked up.  You’ve made the first move. And then you wait. You wait for an email, a phone call, some form of communication.

It’s on – they want to set a date. For an interview that is. You pick out your prettiest outfit, make sure your hair is in place and pull out those fabulous pair of shoes that have been sitting in the closet since you got laid off. You’re on time, even a little early to show your enthusiasm and dependability. You want this person to know you are a keeper! The interview goes great and they tell you the words every candidate hates to hear, “We’ll be in touch.”

You do your due diligence. You send a grand-spanking thank you note, expressing your extreme interest in the job. You make sure you aren’t too forward, as to not scare the potential suitor off, but enough to show your excitement. And then you wait again. Every time the phone rings, you hope it’s that employer. Whenever you open your email, it’s the only thing you can think about. Days become weeks and there’s no response. You reach out and send a friendly hello to remind them of your sparkling personality and interest in them. Still, nothing.

And then it’s over. Somehow you find out it didn’t work out. Through an email, a friend, it really doesn’t matter at that point. They wanted to be with someone else. You weren’t the right fit, you didn’t have the qualities they were looking for, but it was great meeting you and they are sure you’ll find someone else. All that time, energy and hope, flushed away on another company that didn’t want to be with you. But this has happened before. You’ve been dealt this hand time and again, especially in this market. It just wasn’t meant to be.  Don’t get discouraged. All it means is this job wasn’t for you and the right one is still out there waiting for you. Go get ’em tiger!

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3 responses to “Why Finding a Job is a Lot Like Dating

  1. excellent and so true. i tell my candidates this all the time – especially when they say “shouldn’t I wait to send a thank you? I can’t seem too anxious” in the stone age when i was dating..you didn’t call write away or respond right away..the dating rules have changed a bit and so has the job market. but just remember when you don’t get a response…”it’s isn’t you – it’s them” 😉

  2. My favorite Hoboken Gal post yet! Really great!

  3. Great analogy!!! Loved this article. You did a great job at comparing the two.

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