Tag Archives: stress

My Life is Getting in the Way of My Life

Summertime is usually when we get jammed packed. There is something every Saturday or Sunday, if not both days of the weekend; whether it be a BBQ, birthday, celebration, or something as simple as just hanging out with friends or the endless list of errands and projects.

But for some reason, things have gotten busy ridiculously early this year and I am unbelievably overwhelmed. I thought I was overwhelmed when the holidays were coming, but in the last few months, I have realized that shopping for presents and decorating the tree are minor issues in the stress department.

Right now, I’m dealing with a lot of different stressors, some good, some bad. And I truly feel that my life, is in fact, getting in the way of my life. I can’t keep up some days. I’m trying to be a good stay-at-home-mom to a little girl who is turning two and has discovered temper tantrums. Let’s just say some days are better than others! My brother is getting married in less than a month and there are so many wonderful things attached to that, many of which I am a part of. That means a ton of extra, (and fun) stuff to do and take care of (like makeup, hair, dress, shoes, montage, shower, etc.) in addition to every day life. On top of this, I’m trying to plan my daughter’s second birthday, which is only immediate family, but it’s her birthday and it’s still a big deal. My brother is also graduating from med school and will soon find out where he’ll be moving during his next four years of residency, which includes a huge ceremony to celebrate in just a week. My husband joined a band with a live show in a few weeks, and he’s also turning 40, which means another big blowout celebration I’ve been planning since mid-January. In the midst of all this, there are charity runs, birthday parties for young and old and a family vacation we are so desperately trying to plan (and the passport I have to get my kid). My very best friend is getting married in a few months, so there’s lots of planning around that too; bridal shower, bachelorette party; you know the drill.  And I don’t even want to get into how hard it is just trying to see friends on a random weekend or even weeknight, interviewing babysitters for said weekend out, or managing our daily schedule full of food shopping, music and gym classes, and getting in a workout myself. And let’s not forget gifts to buy, taxes to prepare, bills to pay, and home repairs. Should I keep going, because there’s a hell of a lot more I can add to that list?

On top of all this, there’s some emotional stuff going on too. My dad was recently diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder; Wegener’s Granulomatosis, which adds another layer of stress to the equation, while a very dear friend just told us she has cancer. My mom sprained her ankle through all this, though is recovered, and I feel like I battle a headache every other day. My brother is moving away; maybe to Philly, maybe to Cali. The latter are small potatoes in comparison, but still, an unneeded layer.

My birthday was this weekend and my husband treated me (and him!) to an amazing day of pampering. We went to the spa, ate oysters and drank champagne, daydreamed at the bar and indulged in an amazing kid-free dinner. It was so incredible to have a day where I wasn’t worried about everything. I didn’t care about replacing the water softener or finishing the taxes or all the stuff on my handwritten to-do list. I skipped the gym, ate two desserts and felt at ease. It was short-lived, but fabulous. And by Monday, when we were back to reality, I realized just how overwhelmed I really was. I’ll make it though, with a smile, and likely, a lot of wine.

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Planning My Daughter’s 1st Birthday

My husband and I are pretty good at throwing parties. I’d like to admit that we’re actually better than good, maybe great. We have ugly sweater parties, pimps and hoes parties, Super Bowl parties, and so on. We have thrown countless parties together over the last 10 years full of food, drink and nonsense, but now it’s time for us to buckle down and work on planning our daughter’s 1st birthday party.

I don’t have experience throwing parties for kids. I know how to order kegs, stock wine and crock meatballs. Granted, I have been to a handful of events for little ones, but this is not my area of expertise, even if I have been in this mom role for 10 months.  To be honest, it’s been kind of stressful thinking of exactly what we are going to do. Do we rent out a place and have a huge affair with family and friends? Or maybe an intimate gathering of close family and friends? There’s always a separate family party and separate friend party and maybe a playgroup party? So many options, so little time to prepare. In my mind, I have two months to get this soiree together, whatever it may be; however, I’m constantly being reminded by various vendors like music groups, gyms, and the like that I actually only have a few weeks until J turns one. Thanks, I really need those five extra weekly reminders.

In all honesty, while we have pretty much decided what we’ll be doing, I’m constantly worrying if what we’re planning is what will be best. We decided to do a party at our home for immediate family and then invite our friends to a separate birthday gathering another weekend. While I’m happy with the decision, I have a million thoughts running through my head about themes, supplies, food, and goodie bags. Do I have to hire entertainment for the friend party since there will be a handful of youngsters there or set up crafts for the older kids? Where do I get a smash cake? And do I have to do this all twice?

Of course, I could have one big party, do it at a venue and hire people out, but that would be too easy. Remember, my husband and I thrive on this stuff. And this is our first daughter’s very first birthday. It has to be magnificent! We want to be with family and celebrate; with parents and siblings and aunts and cousins, on a more intimate level. And then we want to celebrate J with our friends who love and adore her, while swapping stories over cocktails about the latest in car seats and teething.  So now that we have a plan, we have to start actually planning. Invitations, decorations, food, etc. For a person who mentally stresses over nothing on a daily basis, my stress level is certainly hitting a high!

I know in the end that whatever party (or parties) we have for J will be fabulous. Whether we have a magician or just eat pizza, it will be filled with love and joy surrounding our special little beauty. In the meantime, I’ll be the stressed out mom surfing Pintrest for 1st birthday party ideas. Suggestions welcome.

Why Yoga Stresses Me Out

I recently started taking yoga. While I briefly engaged in the practice a few years ago, I decided to give it a shot when one of those Groupons came along with an unlimited deal.

I am not that good at yoga. I have been giving it a valiant effort and have definitely stepped up my skills since my last stab it, but I’m not counting on starting my own studio any time soon.

I have to admit, yoga stresses me out. Go ahead, laugh. I know, it sounds absurd. Something that is supposed to be completely Zen and relaxing does the exact opposite for me. I worry if I am doing the poses correctly, if I am breathing in that “special yoga way” and if I’m using the right body parts.

I am person who is in my head more than I should be, but to me, doing yoga is like playing Twister. I’m upside down, pretzel like, not knowing if I’m moving right when they say left while I try to figure out how to roll up one vertebra at a time. Yet, I’m starting to enjoy it, as much as it stresses me out. I am hoping the calmness yoga is supposed to bring will find me soon. In the meantime, Namaste.